Hi, I am Mel. For the past 19 years, my world has been centered on a little bundle of joy that was never suppose to be. You see, I was told way back in my early 20s that due to some issues that I should accept that I may never have children. Well, when you are told that in college, you are like score! I don’t have to worry about that. I don’t even like kids.
Fast forward into my late 20s, getting married, telling my future husband we may never have children, both of us thinking that is ok, we don’t have a pot to piss in, how on Earth can we afford a baby too. Then three years in, we asked ourselves should we at least try? And we did and our little miracle baby came on July 17, 2006. She was perfect. I very much appreciated that she slept 18 of 24 hours a day (btw, if given a choice she would still do that).
As most new parents have experienced, everyone and their mother has advice and tips for dealing with a new born. “Keep them on a schedule.” “Make noise when they sleep so they will be deep sleepers.” “Make your own baby food.” And the advice and opinions go on and on.
Fast forward 18 years to her senior year of high school. Going through all the emotional upheavals that come with preparing life as an adult: figuring out what you want to do with your life, applying to schools, deciding on schools (she waited until the last minute which caused daily strife in our house), prom, dealing with relationships both friends and boyfriends as you come to terms that life will change, etc. There were a lot of fights. There were a lot of tears. Mostly, there was a lot of attitude from her as she navigated her final year of school. By the time she chose a college and graduated, my husband and I were physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted but we did it! We got her through 12 years of school, prepared her for her next chapter and were excited to see where her journey takes her.
Now I want to be real here. While everyone has advice and opinions about how you raise a child while you are floundering and figuring it all out, no one has ever tried to prepare me for empty nesting.
Now I want to be real here. While everyone has advice and opinions about how you raise a child while you are floundering and figuring it all out, no one has ever tried to prepare me for empty nesting.
Surprisingly, there were few tears on the day we dropped her off at college, neither from her or us. The three of us were a bit overwhelmed, excited and generally caught up in the chaos of moving her in, getting her settled and then … driving away. I think my first tear fell when we hit the highway. But then my husband and I started talking about all the things we could do now that she was tucked in away in the hills of Harrisonburg, Va. We could have dairy again (she is allergic to dairy), we could do happy hours again (do we even remember happy hour? Btw, not as fun as it was in my 20s), essentially the world was our oyster.
Now here is the reality of what really happened the first week we left her at school. Every day I would come home from work and see her car parked in front of the house, and that little part of me got excited, she is home. Then reality set in, nope my baby is still gone and my husband needs to hide her car so I don’t have utter disappointment every time I see it and know she isn’t there.
While the we enjoyed the delectable dairy-filled dinners we were making (ok, they were just really cheesy casseroles), dinner was a lot quieter than it used to be. Actually, everything was a lot quieter than it used to be. Our life that once revolved around birthday parties, dances, school activities, sports, more sports, clubs, volunteering for fundraisers, etc. had all come to an end. What are we suppose to do with our lives now?
And here, my friends, is where the adventure begins….
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